(This story is based on real events that may or may not have been exaggerated and/or made up)
2am this morning I was woken by being kicked and loud screaming.
In a sleep deprive stupor I looked up to see Amy standing next to the bed sobbing. As her husband I did the right thing and asked “What’s wrong?”.
“A spider scratched my finger so I flicked it onto my leg then I kicked it towards you!” she said between hurried breaths. The order was then barked of “Find it and KILL IT!”. Confirming she hadn’t dreamt it, I spent the next 5 minutes looking for the elusive spider that had been thrown at me. Unable to find it, I tried for the next 10 minutes to coax my distressed wife back to bed, finally with success on the condition the light stayed on. For the next 2 hours I was kept awake (possibly to kill the spider if it appeared) with no amount of comforting able to put the distressed victim to sleep. So this morning I am tired, bruised and have the impact mark of a spider on me.